Tuesday, August 23, 2011

My Role as Mom

I normally don't ramble on here, but I just need to get some thoughts out and figured I could do it here for my blog friends.  So many of you have shared your heart and I've always found that encouraging to me.
I've found myself questioning my role as mom. What does it mean? One of the things that is different down here in Miami is that most moms work. I find myself defending my "stay-at-home" mom status. I was starting to feel guilty about questioning why am I staying at home. Maybe I should be working at the school, but then I look at the faces of my 2 littles still at home and my big 3rd grader.  It's been a huge adjustment having Mj going to school.  I was feeling guilty the whole first week. Were we doing the right thing? And I know that we are.  He's had some struggles.  They write everything in cursive.  And it's a different cursive than he's learned. But he's learning through these struggles.  He's learning through this and I'm so proud of him.  He's met the harsh reality that kids aren't always kind.  I've been writing him a note and leaving it in his lunch every day.  Well,he showed a kid who wasn't in his class and the kid made fun of him.  Can I just say how much it broke my heart to see Mj hurting?  He said "Mom, I still want notes from you, but I was sad that he made fun of me."  Oh, this is a learning experience for all of us.  Mj is doing so well in school and he's got a great teacher.  I know this year is going to teach him so much and not just "book knowledge."  Mj has always had such a tender heart.  When we were at the beach one day he said, "Mom, why do some ladies not dress nicely?" I never told him that bikinis were bad he just knew that women shouldn't show that much skin.  We talked about modesty and how we should want others to see Jesus in the way we dress not ourselves.  He was so worried about the people not knowing Jesus and wanting to show Jesus in their lives.  I love that boy so much and I pray that he keeps that tender heart!

Then there's Jadyn & Gabe.  I have loved having some alone time with each of them and not having the "pressure" of schooling Mj.  We've had so much fun together learning and reading together.  Jadyn is definitely strong-willed and I know that God has huge plans for her life and God has given me the opportunity to start forming this little life for him.  She has just started wanting to pray "without help."  I LOVE listening to her talk to God.  She'll pray for God and Jesus to be happy.  She prays for her daddy at work, for Gabe and Mj to obey. She remembers her friend Zoe who will have heart surgery soon. How precious to hear her little prayers to God.  She also loves to sing.  Yesterday she was sitting at my piano playing notes and making up her own song about Jesus dying on the cross cause He loves her.  Her favorite songs to sing are "Jesus Loves Me", "the ABC's", "My God is so Great" and "He's Able".  I love when she sings "He's Able" cause she'll say, "He's able, He's able, My God is my elbow!" It makes me laugh every time I hear it!!!  I'm sure God is enjoying her joyful noise, too! =)

Gabe is such a precious little boy. Always happy! Starting to learn that he has his own will... but at least he stops with a simple "no". (most of the time.).  He loves to sit on my lap and read books with me. He loves to play outside (even in this Miami heat). He keeps me on my toes, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

So am I sad to be a "stay-at-home" mom?  Am I missing out on something better?  My days are sometimes long, sometimes frustrating, but so worth it!!!  I only get my children for such a short time why would I do something else?!
Thank you God for these 3 precious miracles You've trusted in my care!

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